You get your food, settle down to
eat and there she is. She is sitting at the table across from you. She looks so beautiful; she styled her hair in
a way that most Nigerians wouldn’t but that is not what caught your attention
– it's her earrings.
It is the same earrings your
favorite character in your favorite anime wears. You look a little closer
and notice the book on the table next to her plate, it is a manga! You didn’t
see which one it was but it was one all the same.
You say to yourself, this beautiful lady must be an otaku, just like me. I should go talk to her, maybe we can be
friends, I’ve always wanted a friend I can discuss anime with. But instead of
standing up and walking over to her, you sat, glued to your seat, staring at
her.
When she rises from her plate and notices
you staring at her, she flashes you a beautiful smile. Instead of smiling back,
you anxiously put your head down and start eating.
You didn’t raise your head from
your food until she left. You go home hating yourself because, once
again, your anxiety has caused you a potential friend.
This was me a few months ago, making
friends as a young adult can be a daunting experience. Unlike the school or
college days when meeting people was almost effortless, the adult world can be
very challenging.
However, with the right approach
and mindset, creating meaningful and lasting friendships is entirely
achievable.
Understanding the Importance of Friendship
Before we get to how to make
friends, we have to talk about what friendship truly is. Friendships play a
crucial role in providing emotional and mental health. friendships offer a
sense of belonging and help buffer against stress, anxiety, and depression.
Knowing that you have people to rely on can significantly boost your mental
health.
Friends enhance our experiences in
life by providing companionship, sharing adventures, and offering new
perspectives. They can turn ordinary moments into cherished memories, enriching
our lives in countless ways. I don’t have many friends but the ones I have has
taught me that friendship is more than just having people you can talk to.
It is about having people who are
as close to you as your siblings, it’s like having a second family, people who
will always be there for you, come rain, come sunshine.
Common Challenges in Making Friends as a Young Adult
Social Anxiety
Social anxiety is the biggest challenge
for me in making friends. It is a
significant barrier that stops me from making the friends that I want to. I
tell the people that I have now that if they didn’t come up to me if they
didn’t seek me out first, we wouldn’t be friends because I would have been too
afraid to make the first move. The fear of being judged or rejected prevented me
from putting myself out there and forming new connections.
Balancing Work and Social Life
As young adults, we often find
ourselves juggling multiple responsibilities, from careers and personal goals
to family obligations. And maintaining a social life with this hectic lifestyle
is next to impossible. This makes it challenging to form new connections and
nurture friendships.
Relocating
Many adults move to new cities or
even countries for job opportunities, further education, or personal reasons.
This relocation can result in a sense of isolation and the need to start from
scratch. The unfamiliar surroundings can also make it difficult to connect with
people.
Changing Interests and Priorities
As we grow older, our interests and
priorities evolve. The friends we made in our teenage years or early twenties
might not share the same passions or life goals anymore.
Strategies to Start Making Friends
Embrace New Opportunities
Be open to new experiences and
seize opportunities to meet people. Whether it's a new hobby, a community
event, or a networking opportunity, stepping out of your comfort zone can lead
to new friendships.
Get Involved in Activities
Joining clubs, attending events, or
participating in group activities are great ways to meet like-minded
individuals. Shared interests provide a natural conversation starter and a
foundation for building friendships.
Join Communities; Online and Offline
Online communities are a valuable
resource for making friends. Platforms like Meetup, Facebook groups, and forums
allow you to connect with people who share your interests, even if they're not
in your immediate vicinity.
We can also find clubs or
organizations that align with our interests. Whether it’s a sports team, a book
club, or an art class, these settings provide regular opportunities to interact
with others and build friendships
Build Professional Relationships
Your workplace is a prime spot for
meeting new friends. Building professional relationships can extend beyond
work-related conversations and develop into genuine friendships.
Take part in work events, happy
hours, and team-building activities. These settings offer a more relaxed
atmosphere where you can get to know your colleagues better and form
connections.
Attend Social Events and Gatherings
Social events and gatherings
provide an excellent opportunity to meet new people. Networking events,
parties, community festivals, and even casual get-togethers can be great
platforms for initiating conversations and building friendships. Don't hesitate
to step out of your comfort zone and engage with others at these events.
Reconnect with Old Acquaintances
Sometimes, the key to making new
friends lies in reconnecting with old acquaintances. Reaching out to former
classmates, colleagues, or childhood friends can reignite old bonds and lead to
meaningful friendships. Social media platforms like Facebook and LinkedIn make
it easier than ever to reconnect with people from your past.
Take Initiative and Be Proactive
Building friendships requires
effort and initiative. Don't wait for others to approach you; take the lead in
starting conversations and planning activities. Invite people for coffee,
suggest group outings, or organize small gatherings. Being proactive demonstrates
your interest in forming connections and encourages others to reciprocate.
Active Listening
Practice active listening by paying
attention, asking follow-up questions, and showing genuine interest in what the
other person is saying. This helps build rapport and makes the other person
feel valued.
Developing and Maintaining
Friendships
Regular Communication
They say “Out of sight is out of
mind.” Make sure to stay in touch with your friends through regular
communication. Whether it’s a quick text, a phone call, or a meet-up,
consistent contact will help strengthen your bond.
Show Genuine Interest
A crucial part of forming and
maintaining friendships is showing genuine interest in the lives of others.
Listen actively, ask questions, and be empathetic. Demonstrating that you care
about your friends' experiences and feelings will help you build a deeper
connection and strengthen the bond.
Be Reliable and Trustworthy
Reliability and trustworthiness are
foundational qualities in any friendship. Be consistent in your actions, honor
your commitments, and be there for your friends in times of need. Building
trust takes time, but it is essential for creating long-lasting and meaningful
friendships.
Communicate Openly and Honestly
Effective communication is important
in any relationship. Be open and honest with your friends about your thoughts,
feelings, and intentions. Address conflicts or misunderstandings promptly and
respectfully. Clear and transparent communication helps build a strong and
healthy friendship.
Offer Support and Encouragement
Being supportive and encouraging is
key to maintaining friendships. Celebrate your friends' successes, provide a
listening ear during difficult times, and offer help when needed. Mutual
support strengthens the bond and fosters a sense of camaraderie.
Make Time for Your Friends
As young adults who are still
trying to navigate through life, it can be easy to neglect our friendships.
However, making time for your friends is essential for maintaining strong
connections. Schedule regular catch-ups, plan activities together, and stay in
touch through calls or messages. Consistent effort is vital for keeping
friendships alive.
Overcoming Social Anxiety
Social anxiety is one issue that I have
been dealing with from a very tender age. Though it is still something that I struggle
with, these are some ways that I have been able to manage it.
Practice Self-Confidence
Overcoming social anxiety requires
practice and patience. Focus on your
strengths, celebrate your achievements, and practice positive self-talk. The
more confident you feel about yourself, the easier it will be to initiate and
maintain conversations.
Start with Small Steps
If social situations make you
anxious, start with small steps. Begin by engaging in one-on-one interactions
or smaller group settings. Gradually expose yourself to larger social events as
your confidence grows. Taking small, manageable steps can help you build social
skills without feeling overwhelmed.
Seek Professional Help if Needed
If social anxiety or shyness
significantly impacts your ability to make friends, seeking professional help
can be beneficial. Therapists or counselors can provide strategies and support
to help you manage anxiety and improve your social skills.
Understand Personal Boundaries
Healthy friendships respect
personal boundaries. Understand your limits and communicate them clearly to
your friends. This ensures that your relationships are balanced and respectful.
Be honest and upfront about your
boundaries. Whether it’s about personal space, time, or emotional capacity,
clear communication helps avoid misunderstandings and maintains healthy
friendships.
Conclusion
Making friends as a young adult
might seem challenging, but with the right approach, it can be an exciting and
rewarding journey. Embrace opportunities, step out of your comfort zone, and be
open to new experiences. Remember, everyone is looking for connection, and your
future friends are out there waiting to meet you.
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